Thursday, August 24, 2006

Thursday Thirteen--Diet Humor


Thirteen Things TC found Funny today
  1. HUMOR BUTTON: CAUTION: HUNGRY DIETER, MAY BITE IF PROVOKED
  2. DIETING IS WISHFUL SHRINKING
  3. SKINNY PEOPLE TICK ME OFF!!! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my car keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.--SIOUXSIE Q
  4. DIETING IS THE PENALTY FOR LIVING BEYOND YOUR SEAMS. --Daniel L. Worona
  5. A diet is the modern-day meal in which a family counts its calories instead of its blessings.
  6. Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two...alone.
  7. The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.
  8. EVERYONE had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week's topic — the problems of dining out. She talked about alternatives, such as requesting diet sodas and dressings, and having meat broiled instead of fried. Finally she turned the question over to the group for discussion. "What is the greatest problem you encounter when going out to eat?" Replied one woman quickly, "Running into you!"
  9. NEVER a good dieter, my mother was in the "on-again" phase of her "on-again, off-again" diet plan. She loves sweets, and one day I caught her pouring chocolate syrup into a cup. "What are you doing?" I demanded. "I'm saving calories," she insisted. "I'm eating it without the ice cream."
  10. AFTER noticing how trim my husband had become, a friend asked me how I had persuaded him to diet. It was then I shared my secret: "I put our teenage son's shorts in his underwear drawer."
  11. AFTER my husband asked me to help him shed some unwanted pounds, I stopped serving fattening TV snacks and substituted crisp celery. While he was unenthusiastically munching on a stalk one night, a commercial caught his attention. As he watched longingly, a woman spread gooey chocolate frosting over a freshly baked cake. When it was over, my husband turned to me. "Did you ever notice," he asked, "that they never advertise celery on TV?"
  12. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
  13. Coffee, Chocolate, Men ... Some things are just better rich.

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Food for Thursday:

  • 2 points--granola bar
  • 0 points--coffee
  • 2 points--egg beater omelet
  • 1 points--fruit bar
  • 1 points--fruit cup
  • 1 points--yogurt
  • 3 points--chicken and tomatoes
  • 2 points--cookies
  • 2 points--ww wrap
  • 2 points--peanut butter
  • 1 points--jelly
  • 2 point--granola bar
  • 2 points--cinnamon snaps
  • 2 points--cookies
  • 23 points--Total Points for Thursday

11 comments:

Kailani said...

Thanks for the laughs! I was never one who could committ to a diet. No willpower!

Stacy said...

Very funny, all good ones :)

Have a great day, thanks for stopping by my T13 earlier!

Staci said...

My first visit but I'll be back. SO funny!

My TT is up! Thirteen steps in hosting a blog tour for my new novel, SAVING GRACE!

scrapbookmom said...

I like #'s 10 and 13. Good tt :)

Amy said...

Great TT and I love your hubby's comment on celery on TV LOL

Lazy Daisy said...

Rofl.....loved the list. I may have to make up one of those buttons.

Amy said...

There is NO WAY anybody forgets to eat. How funny! I don't care how skinny you are, your stomach still lets ya know! My stomach must speak a little louder, I guess.

LivingMinimal said...

Yeah, DC is really bad for you. I lost the bulk of my 60+ pounds on WW partially by cutting out DC. It really helped get rid of cravings for sugary/carb filled items. I hope to never drink it again!

Knitting Maniac said...

LOVE those!!!

Cocomolly said...

LOL! Number 6 is soooooo true!!!! Love it! Thanks for the giggle!
*hugs*
Coco

Raggedy said...

Great list..
Some of these are going on my fridge to look at some more...
That was fun.
Great TT
My TT is up
Have a wonderful day!


**NOTE TO MY FRIENDS**
Come on in for a nice cup of coffee and a chat about my weight loss journey as well as all the healthy recipes I have found, including WW points and/or nutritional information if available. I am eating a vegetarian diet and concentrating on getting healthy and hopefully weight loss will follow. Thank to all my readers for their ongoing support.